I've had many titles throughout my life: daughter, sister, student, girlfriend, fiance, wife, aunt, mother and now... working mother.
My first week back at work is over. I am filled with mixed emotions, not to mention much more exhausted than I thought I would be. The hardest part was waking up and realizing that I had to leave. I have been so used to spending the day playing, reading, napping and taking on a role as 'stay at home mom'. I won't lie, the past 15 weeks have been pretty nice! I have very much enjoyed my time at home with Lea. My mother came up to our house to keep Lea while I was out. Leaving the house was difficult. When I was driving to work on Monday morning, it actually felt like every cell in my body was yelling "Where are you going? Your baby is the other way!"
Another side of me was a little bit excited. I was going back to the office with a new schedule and a tweaked list of responsibilities. (I am now working as a part-time Marketing Associate.) I was also looking forward to seeing all of my co-workers again and getting back into a more stable routine. Once I made it to the office, my day went very well. I kept myself busy as to not continuously think about my baby girl! In the back of my mind, though, I was always wondering what Lea might be doing at home. Was she napping, eating, playing on her floor gym, reading a book, listening to music or playing in her exersaucer? It took a couple of days just to remember where everything was and all of my passwords. Once I did, though everything else was like riding a bike.
Then, when it was time to go home I could hardly contain myself! I had to watch my speed because I just wanted to drive as fast as I could. When I made it home, joy filled my heart, ached in my bones and ran all over my skin. Seeing Lea's beautiful smile and her excitement to see me is the absolute best feeling in the world! I couldn't grab and hug her fast enough. I was back home with my baby girl and life was good.
So, I am now a working mom. I have joined a new group. I feel like I know some secrets that other women will never know.... some secrets that are sad and scary, but others that are joyful and exciting.